Cancer, Si Maricar, Si "Kuya", at si Papa Jack

Oo. Adik ako sa TO-TO-TOT. Bago mo pa ako pag-isipan ng masama ay lilinawin ko na ang sarili ko- mahilig akong makinig sa radio show ni Papa Jack na True Love Confessions sa Love Radio. Maaaring baduy para sa iba. Keber. Nakakaaliw kasi yung mga klase ng caller at yung mga lovelife echos na sinasangguni nila kay Papa Jack. Gaya ko, tao din naman sila. Nagmamahal lang... kaya sumasablay. Hindi ko hinuhusgahan ang pagkatao o pag-ibig nila. No offense meant.

1. PBB Teens- mga highschool students na pakiramdam nila ay end of the world na dahil nag-break sila ng mg boypren/gelpren nila dahil sa selos at/o di naman kaya pagkontra ng magulang (malamang)

2. Call Center Peeps- mga issue ng pag-ibig na SOBRANG labag sa pamantayang moral ng simbahang katoliko- mga TL/Agent/QA na may asawa o karelasyon na pero kumekembot pa rin sa iba (kaya nagkakaroon ng anak na hindi sinasadya)

3. OFW- mga long distance relationships na sa two-time- an lang nauuwi

4. Mga kwentong sekyu, kasambahay at boy. Pinakamadalas ko sila napapakinggan sa wild confessions pati ang kanilang adventures sa isang bahay na walang kusina

Ayan... mga ganyan usually yung callers nila EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. Pero kagabi, iba...

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Sya si Maricar. 26 years old. Sya lang ang maayos kausap kagabi. Lahat ng caller sobrang sakit sa patatas kausap (sa part ni Papa Jack) at sobrang sakit sa utak pakinggan (sa part ko). Maayos naman yung bungad kausap. Ok naman daw sya, may konting problema lang sa live in partner nya. Para daw kasing nagbago na yung pakikitungo sa kanya. Hindi naman nya nasesense na may ibang babae pero pakiramdam nya hindi na sya mahal. Sabi ni Papa Jack baka feeling nya lang kasi wala pa syang pruweba. Hindi na sya masyado iniintindi lalo na nung hindi na sya nagtatrabaho. E bakit nga ba sya nag-stop mag-work? Kasi... meron syang... BRAIN CANCER.

Yup. You read it right. Brain Cancer. Upon hearing the C word, nag-iba na yung tema ni Papa Jack. Sabi ni Maricar, hindi daw sya sinasamahan nung partner nya magpa-check up. Samahan man daw sya minsan, laging mainit yung ulo.. naiinis kasi naiinip. Sinabihan pa daw sya na dapat magbago na sya ng ugali nya... kasi... (hindi tinapos nung lalaki yung sentence. Pero reading between the lines, sabi ni Maricar, baka ang kasunod nun ay "malapit na syang mamatay"). Hudas lang. Sabi ni Papa Jack, kung hindi na nakikita ni Maricar na makakasama nya yung partner nya for worse eh kailangan na nya mag let go. She deserves someone who will  love and understand her better. Ayun. Nakipag-break si Ate on-air.

Nakakalungkot lang yung story. Kasi, sa hirap ng pinagdadaanan nya at takot na araw bawat paggising nya e yun na pala ang huli e nilalaglag pa sya sa ere nung taong akala nya e makakasama nya hanggang sa huling paghihirap nya. Badtrip nga naman.Pero naisip ko lang naman... hindi kaya may pinagdadaanan din si Kuya? Mabigat din siguro sa kanya yung pinagdadaanan ni Maricar. You know.. baka hindi nya matanggap na maaaring dumating yung panahon na kainin ng Cancer yung taong pinakamamahal nya. Baka in- denial pa rin sya, galit, o kaya hindi nya pa natatanggap. Kaya ganun na lang sya. Naisip ko lang naman. Hindi ko pinagtatanggol si Kuya.

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Nahukay kodito yung Kübler-Ross model, o The Five Stages of Grief. Sa tingin ko, applicable to hindi lang sa malubhang sakit, sa kamatayan.. pero pwede din sa break-up o kahit anong problemang mas mabigat pa sa basura ng Metro Manila pagkatapos ng Habagat.

1. Denial- tipong "Hindi. Hindi ito nangyayari." Coping mechanism sa mga pangyayaring sobrang sakit.

2. Anger- Syempre, hindi naman pwede na forever nating i-deny sa sarili natin yung devastating na problema. Pag narerealize na ng tao yung masakit na katotohanan, nagsisimula syang magalit sa sarili nya, sa iba, at sa mga taong nagmamahal sa kanya

3. Bargaining- Dito na yung "Lord, magbabago na ko, tulungan mo ko please"

4. Depression- Nakakadepress din naman kung kahit gaano katindi yung dasal mo, hindi mo pa rin makukuha ang healing na hinihiling mo. At this stage, parang suko na. Kahit ano naman gawin ko wala nang mangyayari. Kaya.. KEBER.

5. Acceptance- Sa takdang panahon, dadating din naman sa punto ng pagtanggap. Mahirap.. minsan matagal, pero dadating din.

Sa kasong ito.. pwedeng narating na ni Maricar yung acceptance na stage pero yung partner nya nasa anger pa lang. Pwede. Baka. Siguro. Hula ko lang naman.

Sana, patuloy pang ipaglaban ni Maricar at ng lahat ng mga taong may karamdaman ang buhay nila hangga't kaya. Sana, araw-araw silang makahanap ng reasons para maging maligaya.

Sana, ang lahat ng nagmamahal at nahihirapan ay i-bless ni God ng strength, ng faith at ng guidance hanggang sa tuluyan nilang matanggap ang lahat at magpatuloy.

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Para sa mga may-sakit, at nasasaktan

When Work Becomes Work

My shift has SUPPOSEDLY ended at 1:00 AM. It's already 5:11 AM and I am still waiting for this freakin' report to download. My goodness. Mic's gonna be out from work by 6:00. Looking at the bright side... at least we'll be going home together.

It's Saturday. I'm gonna love it in a bit.

Happy Birthday, X!

I know.. some people might find it wrong or iffy, or vulgarly improper that I am writing a blog post about my x. I found out that today is his birthday on Facebook, which I actually forgot. After writing a birthday post, I suddenly had a flashback, as if I was 18 years old once again...

We were actually grade school classmates. We were each other's crush. Come graduation, he flew to Roxas City to study high school because of some family issues. We never heard from each other since. 

Fast forward.

Friendster was the IN thing in 2004. Naturally, I took advantage of looking for old friends's account and adding them up. X accepted my friend request. We exchanged texts and messages.  Voila! He was back in Manila. Until one day, one of my crew mates at a popular burger joint told me that I guy in the dining area was looking for me. It was him.

He started picking me up from work, treating me to restaurants and taking me to movies. Courting, in other words. My family did not approve of him at first, because he refused to go inside our house the first time that I introduced him to my mom. But as time went by, he became ok. I had other suitors at that time. Being foolish that I am, I picked a bull**** crewmate to be my first boyfriend, who happened to have a kid and a partner without me knowing. Suddenly, he just disappeared.

X knew what happened. He was a crying shoulder. He cheered me up and helped me mend my broken heart. We dated and became a couple after a month.

Happy days came. We saved our allowances just so we could go out on movie/fastfood dates. We were just happy holding hands or watching TV at home. We would go home together and ride a bus from Manila to Rizal. The more traffic the better- because that would mean longer time for us to be together.

Suddenly, I noticed that whenever I won't make it to go to school due to financial issues, he would skip classes, too just to be with me. He stays outside my workplace just to see if I am seeing guys other than him. He would call our landline and talk to my sister, asking what bag I used, or if I am going home late. At that point, I started to get tired... For me, he was becoming too immature, too complacent, given that his aunt sends him to school because his mom and dad went on separate ways. Like me, he was their family's first born, but I wasn't seeing any sign that he is persevering to make things better.

His father died due to a certain illness. Because of this, he had to fly back to Roxas. While he was away, I worked in a contact center and made myself busy. His absence made me realize to couple of things. I wanted my freedom- so that he would be able to prioritize more important matters aside from me.

I asked for a break-up as soon as he arrived. I felt choking in my throat when I saw him cry. I felt too much guilt for leaving him, for destroying his dreams. But if I stayed, I would have destroyed mine.

It was difficult at first because we were in the same circle of village friends. During the first few months, we did nothing but fight whenever we have get-togethers with the rest of the tropa. I purposely avoided the group so that X and I won't see each other. 

Time went by and both of us moved on. He went back to the province and comes to Manila once in a while. Whenever we see each other along with our friends, we don't talk about our past. We just talk like we're friends. 

Weekend Recap Part 2

Hello there, pader!

Ituloy na natin ang weekend recap chika

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Saturday, August 18, 2012

Pagkataos naming tumambay sa mall eh gumora naman kami sa Yoohoo bar sa Metrowalk. Work barkada naman ni Mic ang gang (ang friends nya ay friends ko din. Conjugal! :) ) Nagyaya kasi si Kumareng Marj na uminom. Libre daw nya. Sino ba naman kami para tumanggi? : P

Me and Marj

Ang Labtim na Vinnie+Diane

Nic+Mic

We had fun over 4 buckets of beer, fries and calamares. At dahil sa hindi pala kami nagdinner, gora kami sa Il Mercanti food bazaar. Pangarap ko sana ng buko shake pero wala na daw. Kaya we settled for Shawarma and brownies #gutom. Three different kinds of brownies sya eh, cut into cubes, placed in a cup and topped with chocolate and caramel syrup. Swak sa sweet cravings ng mga taong in denial sa amats *wink. Hindi pa tapos ang party. We ordered pancit canton somewhere and went to Marj's apartment. More drinks, more kwento. We were supposed to spend the night over Kevin's condo. Kaya lang, tulog si Lolo. Kaya pumunta na lang kami dun the day after. Kina Marj na kami natulog. To make bawi, Kevin cooked Fettuccine Carbonara. Winner din.

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Sunday, August 19, 2012

Nakauwi kami sa bahay siguro 1:30 PM na. Sabi ni Mudra "Akalain mong may balak pa pala kayong umuwi". Nagpaalam naman kami in fair. Pasok sa banga ang ulam on a Sunday. Mechadong baka. Mejo busog pa kami sa Carbonara kaya pass muna kami sa Lunch. Naligo na lang ako tapos nagpunta kami nina Merm at Bujoy sa tiangge. Super mura ng mga bagay. I will share our tiangge finds on my next post. Pagkauwi namin, kumain kami ni Mic ng early dinner around 5:00 PM. Tapos, tulog. 

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Monday, August 20, 2012

Bujoy's shift was at 4:00 AM. Si Mudra dapat ang maghahatid sa kanya sa kanto kaya lang she wasn't feeling well. Masakit ang paa dahil sa rayuma. Mic and I volunteered. Hinatid namin si Bujoy sa kanto- kanto ng Eastwood! Roadtrip ng konti. Naisip namin na gusto namin ng kape. Sarado lahat ng Starbucks sa paligid. Sayang. Kaya lang, sakto lang din kasi nakakahiya yung itsura namin ni Mic. Muka kaming palaboy. Kaya nag McDo na lang kami. Libre ni Mic. Natalo kasi sya sa pustahan. More pilit kasi sya na 30 days lang ang August. Super confident si Kuya. Ipupusta nya pa daw ang Venti Javachip Frappe. Nirecite ko sa kanya ang "30 Days has September". Hindi pa sya naniwala. Kaya ayun. Super wasak nung nakita nya yung calendar sa pinto namin.

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And that's the end of my weekend recap. Musta weekend mo? Sana enjoy din. 

Weekend Recap Part 1

What's up, kulisap?

Sorry kung mejo matagal-tagal din akong nawala sa blogging eksena. Kasi...

1. Na-lock ko yung blog ko (idyot)

2. Na-lock ko din yung email kung saan isesend sana yung password ko sa blog (mas idyot)

Kaya swerte naman na sa paggamit ko ng bagong browser at tagumpay na paghula ko sa password e naretrieve ko yung account. Hehe. Waley namang bago. 

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Sunday, August 12, 2012

Nag-swimming lang kami ng ELF gang sa Club Manila East na chinika ng beautiful frend kong si Joanne ditey. Birthday celebration kasi ng ever gorgeous ELF na si Lori. Masaya naman sya.. Sulit na din and voucher dahil may libreng ZipLine. At lalong sulit kasi first time magswimming ni Athena sa resort. At dahil first time, nasabik ang bagets. More tantrums pag umaalis kami sa pool. Dito ko lang nadiscover na idol ni Athena si Sophie.. ang unica hija nina Lori at Joel. Whatever Sophie does, Athena mimics.

Rowie, Rosa, Joanne, Zai, Joel, Sophie, Me, Athena and Mic

Pictures galing sa kagandahang si Zai

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 Friday, August 17, 2012

Dahil sa nagtrabaho ako sa bahay nung kabwisitan ng Habagat last Aug. 7 and 8, napagtripan ko lang gamitin ang Compensatory Day off ko last Friday. Wala namang ganap. Naggrocery lang kami ni Mic at nag- Jollibee. Sinundo nina MIL at FIL si Athena so nagbibinata at nagdadalaga kami over the weekend. At para masulit ang akong leave, pinagluto ko na lang si Mic ng dinner (pagpapanggap na mabuting maybahay. Hehe). Spam+Itlog na maalat+Kamatis+LOVE. Hindi ako marunong magluto. Pasensya na. Madami namang nakain ang mahal na hari in fairness. 

Pag pasok nya sa office, more tunganga lang ako sa kwarto namin.Blog hopping. Basa ng konti.

Feeling ko Bata ako ulit. ^_^

Super Mini Library

Hindi naman ako bookworm talaga. Sobrang pili lang yung binabasa ko. Konting books, at napakaraming FHM. Si Mic kasi. Hehe.

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Saturday, August 18, 2012

Mejo malapit na ang ELF Ilo-ilo trip na kalahating taon na naming pinagpaplanuhan. To finalize some details, we decided to meet in El Pedro's Grill.

Each kubo has a hanging bottle and stick like this. If you want to order, all you have to do is to tap the bottle with the stick. Wag kang titigil hanggang walang staff the lumalapit. :P

El Pedro's Grill serves great tasting pizza. The crust is thin and crisp. 

Sophie, Lori, Joanne, Joana and Me

Ang Partners in Crime: Mic and Joel

Joanne and Lori had to go to work. We left El Pedro's at 6:00 PM, I think. We dropped Lori and Joanne in Cainta Junction. Mic and I went to Robinsons Metro East afterwards to buy some stuff.

To be continued...