I know.. some people might find it wrong or iffy, or vulgarly improper that I am writing a blog post about my x. I found out that today is his birthday on Facebook, which I actually forgot. After writing a birthday post, I suddenly had a flashback, as if I was 18 years old once again...
We were actually grade school classmates. We were each other's crush. Come graduation, he flew to Roxas City to study high school because of some family issues. We never heard from each other since.
Friendster was the IN thing in 2004. Naturally, I took advantage of looking for old friends's account and adding them up. X accepted my friend request. We exchanged texts and messages. Voila! He was back in Manila. Until one day, one of my crew mates at a popular burger joint told me that I guy in the dining area was looking for me. It was him.
He started picking me up from work, treating me to restaurants and taking me to movies. Courting, in other words. My family did not approve of him at first, because he refused to go inside our house the first time that I introduced him to my mom. But as time went by, he became ok. I had other suitors at that time. Being foolish that I am, I picked a bull**** crewmate to be my first boyfriend, who happened to have a kid and a partner without me knowing. Suddenly, he just disappeared.
X knew what happened. He was a crying shoulder. He cheered me up and helped me mend my broken heart. We dated and became a couple after a month.
Happy days came. We saved our allowances just so we could go out on movie/fastfood dates. We were just happy holding hands or watching TV at home. We would go home together and ride a bus from Manila to Rizal. The more traffic the better- because that would mean longer time for us to be together.
Suddenly, I noticed that whenever I won't make it to go to school due to financial issues, he would skip classes, too just to be with me. He stays outside my workplace just to see if I am seeing guys other than him. He would call our landline and talk to my sister, asking what bag I used, or if I am going home late. At that point, I started to get tired... For me, he was becoming too immature, too complacent, given that his aunt sends him to school because his mom and dad went on separate ways. Like me, he was their family's first born, but I wasn't seeing any sign that he is persevering to make things better.
His father died due to a certain illness. Because of this, he had to fly back to Roxas. While he was away, I worked in a contact center and made myself busy. His absence made me realize to couple of things. I wanted my freedom- so that he would be able to prioritize more important matters aside from me.
I asked for a break-up as soon as he arrived. I felt choking in my throat when I saw him cry. I felt too much guilt for leaving him, for destroying his dreams. But if I stayed, I would have destroyed mine.
It was difficult at first because we were in the same circle of village friends. During the first few months, we did nothing but fight whenever we have get-togethers with the rest of the tropa. I purposely avoided the group so that X and I won't see each other.
Time went by and both of us moved on. He went back to the province and comes to Manila once in a while. Whenever we see each other along with our friends, we don't talk about our past. We just talk like we're friends.